Timeline
From Phoenix Productions
The following is a timeline of events occurring in the flashbacks taking place in the Fairy Tale Land and all its territories (the Embiggened Forest, El Horado, Fuckingham, etc.).
Timeline[edit | edit source]
- Rumpleforeskin is seen looking very haggard when the Boob Fairy visits him one time, to judge him for choosing darkness in order to get revenge and ending up unhappy because of it. ("Wheel of Misfortune")
- Prince Joshooa embarrasses his father, King Midass, when the latter is almost about to strike a deal with King Lionfart. ("God Save the Queer") The deal would have saved the kingdom from poverty, and when it falls through, Midass decides to turn to dark magic by summoning Rumpleforeskin, who grants him the power of turning everything he touches into gold. Midass soon learns this takes its toll, however, for he can't even eat without turning the food to gold, so he asks for the "gift" to be taken back. Rumple humiliates him some before revealing he's not going to take it back, and that he himself is the one responsible for the kingdom's poverty. In a moment of despair, Midass hugs his daughter Abigoat and turns her into a golden statue. ("The Midass Touch")
- Blow White steps on the foot of a man, who would later become the Evil Drag Queen, and he vows revenge. ("It's Not Easy Being Black")
- Buster the dog is looked after by his dutiful owner, young Willy, whose grandfather is quickly dying of cancer. Willy and Buster go see the Blind Bitch, who demands that they bring her something from a pocket dimension in exchange for a cure. Willy collects one hundred and one Whoraiths from said dimension and brings them to the witch, but she then reveals there is no cure for cancer. She turns Buster into an anthropomorphic animal and has one of the Whoraiths age him up. Afterwards, the Whoraith takes Willy through a ruby-red mirror, and she follows suit. When Buster goes home to tell Willy's grandfather what happened, the man dies of a heart attack upon the sight of the dog. ("I Woof You")
- Cinderali works for her stepmother as both a maid and a prostitute, alongside the black-skinned Blow White. ("The Little Whore Maid")
- The 18-year-old Joshooa has a romantic relationship with Peeter the shepherd; once Midass learns of this, he forbids it. Eventually, he hosts a ball for his son to land a wife. ("God Save the Queer")
- The Fairy Godmotherfucker comes looking for Cinderali, to grant her wish of changing her life, but meets Blow White instead, who inadvertently gets her killed. ("It's Not Easy Being Black")
- Cinderali is visited by Rumpleforeskin, who makes sure that she makes it to the prince's ball, by giving her a new dress, glass slippers and a pumpkin carriage. ("The Little Whore Maid"/"The Glass Slipper")
- At the ball, Josh discards the Trampaine twins and Whorora before meeting Alison, and they dance together. ("God Save the Queer"/"The Glass Slipper") Ali has to leave at midnight, however, respecting the deal made with Rumple, and leaves one of her glass slippers behind. Midass orders that the kingdom be scoured for the girl whose foot the shoe fits, and Lady Trampaine imprisons Ali and tries to marry off one of her twins, but is unable to. Blow rescues Ali and she proves she's the girl of the glass slippers. ("The Glass Slipper")
- Josh and Ali get married, and order that Lady Trampaine's brothel be shut down, thusly freeing Blow White and the other prostitute slaves. Soon afterwards, Blow attacks Prince Herpic's carriage, wanting to marry him. ("It's Not Easy Being Black")
- Josh leaves the marriage soon enough to go be with Peeter, and Ali is understanding, albeit saddened. ("God Save the Queer" Midass finds them and eventually agrees to let them be together, but a stray arrow accidentally takes Peeter's life, and thusly Midass brings his son back home. ("God Save the Queer")
- Blow White breaks into the home of seven dwarfs and they agree to let her stay in exchange for group sex. Following a bukkake orgy, their collective sperm infiltrates Blow's skin and changes its color from black to white. Afterwards, she becomes a princess by marrying Prince Barfing, and orders that the dwarfs be executed. ("It's Not Easy Being Black")
- Rumple visits a desolate Josh and convinces him to use a curse to solve his problems. He then teaches Josh the arts of dark magicks and the Boob Fairy notices this and grows concerned. ("Wheel of Misfortune")
- The Dog is in a romantic relationship with Anitta Red, which Granny Fanny disapproves of. He asks her to move in with him, to which she agrees. Eventually, the Dog finds Anitta murdered, having been stabbed to death, and Fanny blames him for it. ("Hungry Like the Dog")
- Geppedo creates a masterpiece wooden marionette who is given life by the Boob Fairy and named Pornocchio. Boobs promises that, should the boy be selfless, brave and true at all times, he'll go on to become a real boy. In reality, she wants to keep Geppedo's pedophilia in check by humanizing the children he's so attracted to, giving him a child of his own. Pornocchio is practically kidnapped by the Trampaines on his way to school, but Geppedo and Jizzinme Cricket rescue him. Afterwards, Porn learns of his father's problem, and vows to help him. ("Got Wood?")
- Once the Queer has already taken over the kingdom, Rumple creates the Imp to help him with the mundane chores that come with being a king. ("Wheel of Misfortune")
- Rumpleforeskin accidentally brings over two Nazi children, Hans and Greta Strauss, in the place of Rena Charming. They go on to kill the Blind Bitch and occupy the gingerbread house. ("Twosome of Cuteness")
- Pornocchio, wanting to find a cure for his father, meets with Nulva, who tells him the Boob Fairy has gone missing so she can't help. She suggests that he meet with librarian Bellend, which he does, and together they set off to Maleficunt's castle, meeting with Robin Hooch and the Fairy Men along the way. Maleficunt agrees to help, for a large fee, and thus Porn tries to steal from the Queer's vaults, being captured and taken to the villain. ("In Harm's Way")